When I got married I decided not to change my surname.
Being in a professional career, many girls I know haven’t changed their names when they have gotten married, so to me it isn’t unusual. I had never been particularly against the idea of changing my name, but when the time came I just felt that the right thing for me was to keep my name. Part of it was that I hate dealing with bureaucracy and I knew there would be lots of it to deal with if I changed my name. The other part of it was that I had been Kristy Kyi for over 30 years and the thought of not being Kristy Kyi anymore felt strange to me and actually a little bit upsetting in a weird way that I hadn’t expected.
Funnily enough, I used to hate my name when I was young. No one could ever spell it or pronounce it correctly. All I wanted was to be a “Smith” or a “Jones”! Over the years though, I’ve gotten used to my name and the fact that people can’t say or spell it doesn’t really bother me so much anymore. As I’ve grown older I’ve accepted a lot of things about myself that I may not always have liked and it seems my name is one of those things. I now see my name as being a part of me – it says something about where I’ve come from and what I have become.
I did ask my husband-to-be whether it would bother him if I didn’t change my name. If it had mattered to him if course I would have reconsidered, but fortunately we share the view that whether our names are the same or not is irrelevant to our relationship – we’e lived together for 10 years with different names afterall! On our wedding day the fact that I hadn’t taken my husband’s name definitely didn’t make a difference to the happiness and excitement I felt to be married to the most amazing person I’ve ever known, and now that we are married our bond isn’t lessened by the fact we don’t share the same name.
I know a lot of women choose to change their name because of their future children. The thought of me having a different name to my kids doesn’t really bother me. A family is a family and I don’t think that having different names changes that. I expect that I will get called by my husband’s surname in error when we do have kids (even more than I already do after only a few months of being married!), but that is something I will just have to learn to live with!
Whether or not to change your name is such a personal choice and I am always interested to hear people’s reasons for changing or keeping their name. Why did you decide to change or keep yours? Maybe it was a major decision for you or or maybe to you it wasn’t a big deal and you didn’t really give it much thought at all… Was it something that you and your partner agreed on? If you aren’t married yet have you thought about whether you will change your name when the time comes? Leave your comments below 🙂
Images by Samm Blake